Saturday, December 29, 2012

EL SALTO NEW ROUTES / POEMS / LS ANNUAL REPORT AND MUCH MORE...


Its another post for another COLD ass day in the mountains. Drinking JD at 7am and napping all day. Waiting for the sun to warm up our little world here.

The beach was nice, but expensive. I flew back on a whim and have been bolting like MAD. I had 300 hangers left over from Kaya from last season, and they are all gone now. I am now starting to put in the Climbtech hangers. BTW, if you have not noticed with the new side badges, I am now with Climbtech. I am soooooooooooo phyched. I will be in Austin soon after new years to see the whole shop and talk logistics. Gonna be insane.

Extensions to Dantes ( 14) Camino (13+) and Quesadilla (12 ) are done ( botled, not sent. Jesus, gimme some time to breathe will ya! ):). I also put up three new lines on the left side of Las Animas, 11+ and 12- I think. There are still a few new ones to send on Carses's wall that should go as soon as someone shows up to belay LOL. The forth mentioned extentions will be sick. Camino's especially. They push the lines to 45 and 50m. mad whippers and mad air.

Also, put in a couple new 10's and 9's on the right side of Las Animas. Pretty intense. The new, updated list of all routes is below. Hope you enjoy.

I wrote this for someone special a few weeks ago on a plane, on a napkin. Thought you might want to read it.

Anyway, thats my update. Oh and yeah, my LS contract is up. Below the little prose is my Annual Athlete report. I thought it kicks ass.

BTW. Maxim is publishing my first ever add in gripped in a few months. I am stocked. If they allow me, I will show you.

Cheers everyone. Don't drink and drive. Give something away to someone who needs it. You can always buy another one.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

She sits in quiet comfort. Quite aware of how attractive she is. Un-intimidated and un-phased by anyone or anything. Her confidence is intoxicating. An aroma like that is rare in this world. You can't fake that, you cannot. No acting. Her eyes shut, calmly and in safety, with her head resting casually against the seat back. She travels enough to not worry about fashion or looks but does intuitively, naturally. Just enough eyeliner to look sexy but not too much as to necessitate constant maintenance. Her soft  hair is flowing, pitch black, drifting off her scarf and into her bone shoulders, which are covered by simple wool. She flickers, her expression changing. She's sleeping. She's preoccupied. Her dreams are not as rainbow color as she let's on. No matter. All matter of us have drifting times. Maybe she was hurt. Maybe he was not the one for hers. Maybe it was a mistake. Maybe its not over. Maybe its not all the way closed, that door. Maybe there is hope. She's hurt but mature enough to accept the consequences. She's moving on. She will love again. She will once again smile. Hold hands. Walk the park in the fall with her safety holding her, strong he is. Stronger then the last. The best. She will once again feel love for the first time. Be held and forget everything. Even this note. She will believe once again. She will once again be the woman she once was, her man allowing her, guiding her, to it. 



2012 LA SPORTIVA AMBASSADOR ANNUAL REPORT
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1. GENERAL OVERVIEW OF 2012 (~500 words):
It really hard to write all the things we do over a year. Climbers tend to live on the moment, but I will try. I bolted over 90 new lines this year. FFA'd about 70. There are still some projects that are undone, and those will have to be left to my annual overview for 2013. I have sunk over 1000 hangers this year, mainly in Mexico, but also in Ontario, Quebec, Colorado, Utah, Serbia and Croatia. I spent three months in the eastern bloc giving bolting classes and bolting with the climbers there. I did my first DWS climbing in Croatia and will defiantly go back to do that again this coming summer. I am working with rock and ice to go on assignment there next august with a photographer and get it printed. I am writing a lot these days and submitting. its hard to get rejected, but still pushing. Developing new walls in northern mexico and new areas all the time. I am really into FA these past few years and bolting is allowing me to be active without partners, which is nice cause in mexico, its hard to get people up early.

2. HOW DID YOU HELP PROMOTE LA SPORTIVA IN 2012 (List at least 6)
- I bolted as special guest international setter for an outside comp and festival in uybovia, Serbia, on the Bosnian border in sept 2012.
- I bolted as guest international setter for a festival in Jilotepec, Mexico in Dec 2012
- I spent 4 weeks touring the eastern seaboard of canada, climbing with the various jr teams of 30 or so gyms.
- I did about 40 demos for LS in March and April 2012
- I spent about two weeks developing a new climbing area in Borski Stol, Serbia in August 2012. I showed the new techniques for bolting ground up that will allow them to open new lines in otherwise un reachable terrain. 
- The el salto guide book is almost done, and the LS logo will be on it for sure ( with your approval, of course. )

3. CLIMBING HIGHLIGHTS FROM 2012:
- Signed on with Climbtech. Contract starting Jan 1st 2013
- I climbed FFA'd Ungabunga Mas ( 14a ) as yet un repeated in proper style, although 2 mexicans are claiming accents with an extended anchor, which compromises the grade and insults my accent anyway. Where has ethics gone?
- I FFA'd Dante's Inferno Directe ( 14a/b ), still unrepeated ( the variation was done by Alex Honnold in 2011@ 13D)
- Bolted 2 new 14's in Serbia, but I have to go back and send this coming summer, I was cut short by travels to other areas. HARD
- Climbed with the best climbers in Serbia and Croatia and had a blast.

4. NON-CLIMBING HIGHLIGHTS FROM 2012:
- Moved out of my apt and back into my truck full time. Got a storage space from which I live from now in Montreal. To do it, you must live it.
- My blog gets more and more hits. Averaging 2000 hits a month.
- Wrote a couple pieces, including one on serbia for En Route Air Canada Magazines thats being published
- Croatia piece is being considered at climbing and rock and ice. ROCK in aussie is printing it in may. 
- Alain Denis took pics of me for the Patagonia Catalog. sick. we shall see at the OR if they made it in.
- Helped the serbian ZUMAN climbing club get pro deal with LS and Maxim and climbtech.
- Helped fellow climbers in croatia get in-touch with sponsors.
- Still single. Still looking :)
- Took my first actual vacation without any climbing in 7 years last week. Went surfing in boca de pescules, a pro surfing area. Swallowed a lot of sand and got a good enema everyday from crashing into the surf. Might make me lighter for climbing. Who knows. LOL
- Help Fernanda Galvan get a maxim sponsor. Although I don't agree with her boyfriends climbing ethics, I suspect she will not follow in his footsteps.
- I ate my first frog legs in Croatia

5. EVENTS YOU PLAN TO ATTEND IN 2013:
- Another demo tour is planned for March/April 2013, this time for more then 6 weeks. More then 40 gyms, including ones in Winnipeg and Halifax.
- TDB regional finals and finals in MAY
- OR Summer show
- RRGCC rendezvous in April 2013
- Every event in the Montreal, quebec ottawa area during May, June and July 2013!

6. PLANS/GOALS FOR 2013:
I have a really specific thing I want to climb in April 2013 in Montreal. Going to be HUGE! Training for it right now.
I am going back to the eastern bloc and Slovenia august, sept and oct of 2013. 
I am bolting and climbing in mexico until april 2013. I have new projects and old ones to send. 
I have 800 hangers left for the season after 4 weeks and 1200 total brought with me. I expect to put them all in. I am meeting up with climbtech in Jan2013 and will get even more hardware. SICK. MAY JUNE AND JULY are work seasons for me.
Buy a camera and start shooting
Continue my battle against the FQME to help protect my local areas.
Working with the mexican tourism office to protect climbing areas in Mexico and make them national parks.

EL SALTO GUIDE UPDATE!
Updated December 28 2012


Las Animas Wall. (from left to right) Updated January 11 2012

1.    All Along the Watchtower  5.10+ 12 Bolts 30m Full Anchors
2.    Get Shorty 5.9 15m 6 bolts Full Anchors.
3.    The Power of Cheeze 5.13- R 11 Bolts 35m FA Poncheese. Still undone and RunOut. Scary, even for me.
4.    Angeles Caminan Entre Nosotros  5.12c/d 11 Bolts 35m FA/FFA Ulric Rousseau Nov 2011
5.    Cara Cortada      5.12a 20m * * * Classic crimping up orange bomber rock.
6.    Malvavisco          5.12a 20m Start on Bongkatron, but finish at the Cara Cortada Anchors following a black bolt to traverse left. 
7.    Scarface        5.13a 30m * The full value route. Hard boulder problem ¾ of the way up.
8.    Dirt White Scorpion 5.12c 35m 15 Bolts (unfinished) FA Brigitte Robert & Ulric ( FFA ) March 2011
9.    Alien Short          5.11c 30m 12 Bolts * Climb Alien Tufa to the first set of anchors for the warm up.
10. Alien Tufa            5.12c 35m 14 Bolts * * * Full value and amazing 4 bolts of pure pinching ( not ) up high.
11. Blood Brother    5.11d 30m 15 Bolts * * The classic warm-up with great moves on solid stone.*
12. Muchas Cornhuelas 5.12a 30m * * FA Jeb Vetters 1998
13. Body Groovin’     5.12b 30m 11 Bolts * * * FA Jeb Vetters 1998
14. Culo de la Negro     5.12a 25m 12 Bolts * * * One of the first routes on Las Animas. Classic.
15. La Guitara De Homero  5.13c 35m FA ?/FFA Fernanda 2011
16. Hino                     5.12b 25m 12 Bolts * * (2nd pitch is 5.11d, rarely done)
17. Lazy Boy Lover   5.12d 30m 16 bolts * * * Climb right behind the tree, watch the 4th bolt whipper.
18. Tufalina                5.12c 15m 8 Bolts *
19. Tufaluna               5.13a 20m 12 Bolts * * *
20. Panocha Poderosa 5.13a 30m * FA/FFA Curt Love 2009
21. Ramones’ Mushroom 5.12a 20m * *  Climb up to the obvious mega black tufa. Amazing. FA/FFA Ramone Narvaez 1998
22. Big Grey Tufa       5.12d 20m *  Classic tufa pinching to a shutter crux at the last bolt.
23. Inertia                   5.13b 30m FA/FFA Curt Love 2009
24. Caronte                5.12d 25m   FA/FFA Martinez y Ricardo Vara 2012
25. La Vida de Una Mariposa 5.13c 20m FFA Ulric Jan 2012
26. Todo o Nada (Project) 5.14 FA Ulric Dec 2011
27. La Maquina en el jardin 5.13a 40M 19 Bolts * * * Start left of El Primero in a corner and continue up passed the achors for a mind crushing pump. Stellar and super clean. Good job boys! FA/FFA Devlin Junker and Adam
28. El Primer Paso en El Ultimo Dia 5.13a 30m 11 Bolts FA/FFA Ulric Dec 2011
29. Tufalero                5.12d  20m 7 Bolts FFA Ramone Narvaez
30. Ungabunga          5.12b 30m * * * Climb the blue and orange slab up and left through Tufas and a little surprise at the end.
31. Ungabunga X-Mas 5.14a 5 bolts 40m Climb 5 more bolts and 12 meters off the anchors of Ungabunga for the grade. Enjoy the runout at the 3rd bolt. :) You lose the grade if you clip the extented draw at the anchors, put in by lazy climbers. WTF? FA/FFA Ulric Dec 24 2011
32. La Guitara de Lolo 5.14a 35m * * * Climb the start of Ungabunga but head right at the 5th bolt through fixed draws for 35m of power endurance climbing. FA.Lolo FFA Unknown
33. Unfinished (Project) 5.14? 40m FA Diego Montul
34. Touched by God 5.14 18 bolts 40m Start on the ladder and clip the first bolt, grab the jug and get ready for the next moves. Climb up bomber tufas to a thin crux and past good jugs to a sub anchor. Climb past that up the tufa, treading right as it thins out for a little spice before the anchors. Run out finale. Bouyah! FA Ulric Feb 2012
35. Assasino en Silencio (Project) 5.14? 40M 11 Bolts FA Ulric 2011
36. La Ultima Dia de Dios (Project) 5.14? 35M 11 Bolts FA Ulric 2012
37. Purigatorio               5.13a 20m 7 Bolts Same start as Bizarre Contact but follow the left line of bolts. Watch the ground fall at the 2nd and 4th bolts. FFA Martinez & Moco
38. Bizarre Contact    5.12b 20m 11 bolts * * Bouldery start to easier climbing. Stunning but short. FA/FFA James Carse 1998
39. Murder Weapon (Project) 5.14 40m 9 bolts Climb Bizarre Contact or Purgatorio and continue past the anchors for 25 more meters. FA Ulric March 2011
40. Life After You(Project) 5.14a 45m 13 Bolts FA/FFA Ulric Feb 2012
41. Tufa King Short       5.13b 20m * * * Hard bouldery route, short but worth the effort. FA Devlin Junker
42. Dante’s Inferno       5.13d 30m * * * Climb the obvious thin grey streak. Only one accent so far. FA Arturo y Martinez 2008 FFA Alex Honnold 2010
43. Dante’s Inferno "Directe" (Avoids the 3 bolt rest section out left ) 5.14a/b FFA Ulric Feb 2012. Unrepeated.
44. Naked Lunch 5.14b/c TBC  50m 6 bolts Climb 42 or 43 and punch through the anchors for another 20m of power endurance through thin moves with delicate feet manouvers. Take a breather and hold off the pump for the runout to the anchors. Stellar. Sub/Full Anchors. Belayer beware. FA Ulric Dec 2012
45. Camino de Chino    5.13c 30m 12 Bolts * * * Thin crimping and technical work up the orange streak on bomber rock.
46. Camino de Chino EXT. 5.14a/b TBC 45m 4 bolts.  Hike Camino de Chino and check  your fears at the door, crimp and throw all the way to the anchors. Whippers galor! Runout but uber safe. FA Ulric Dec 2012
47. Dirty Grey Tufa   5.12d 15m 6 Bolts No stars. I wonder why?
48. Quesadilla 5.12c 20m 9 Bolts * * The oldest route in El Salto. New bolts now make it safe and pleasurable after years of scary run-outs on rusted home made hangers. Hold on at the third bolt. FA/FFA Paco Medina 1990?
49. Quesadilla de Oro 5.13b/c TBC 40 m 14 bolts Climb past the anchors of Quesadilla for more fun in the sun and a huge pump, with the smallest holds being right before the anchor. :) Full anchors. FA Ulric Dec 2012
50. Una de este Dias 5.12d 22 bolts 45m Sub Anchor  Climb through the low crux at the thrid bolt with a thin pinch and throw. Then ease up and climb 35m of 11+ technical laybacks and thin slab climbing. Sub anchor to lower. Belayer beware. Full Anchors. FA Ulric Dec 2012
51. I Vision 5.11- 22m 10 Bolts Don't expect to flash this. Nothing is what it seems. FA Ulric Dec 2012
52. EZ Street 5.11+ 25m 11 Bolts Interesting start to a super jug slab. FA Ulric Dec 2012


La Cueva aka The Cave (from left to right)

1.    Amor  5.12b Follow the black bolts out the left side of the left most cave and finish at the anchors of Felicidad FA Curt Love
2.    Felicidad 5.12a First route on the inside of the Small cave, left of the Main cave.
3.    Rocket Man 5.12b Follow black bolts to overhanging tufa system.
4.    Desconsido 5.11d The second route outside the right side of the small cave.
5.    Missing Hanger 5.12c
6.    Limestoner 5.12b
7.    Culo de Fuego 5.13a
8.    La Violencia 5.13a/b 25m * * * First route on the left inside of the main cave. Dyno to a very violent move to reach the tufa 4 feet off the wall. Finish at the Tecalote anchors up and left.
9.    Golden Man 5.12b/c At the very back of the cave, start below the obvious spiral offwidth, fight your way to the anchors out 30feet from the ground.
10.  Tecalote 5.13a 30m * * * Gym climbing at its best. Start below the first draw wrapped
around a hole and go straight through the cave. This thing keeps you horizontal the whole way. A classic tick to be sure. Finish out the left side of the cave at the same anchors as La Violencia
11.  Huiratica 5.13b 30m * * * Amazing steep pockets and sloppers starting on the right side of the cave. Pull out of the cave to some technical climbing to anchors. Long and sustained.
12.  Nosferatu 5.12c 25m * * * The first route in the cave and the one to do ASAP. Think 3D people. FA Alex Patinio and Ulric Rousseau Jan 1999
13. Kika Shredder 5.13 a/b 25m * * * Hard moves off the ground to classic traversing left on small pinches and crimps. Stay alive for the surprise move at top.
14. H-Bomb 5.14a 35m * * * The hardest line to date. Supposedly unrepeated since a key hold broke at the crux. Much harder now.
15. Soul Power 5.12d 30m * * * Nice sustained pump up the main steepness. Committing moves and large throws, kneebars, tufas and great pockets make this a classic not to miss.
16.  Merlin’s Culo 5.10d 20mA must do for everyone. Start on the lower left part of the upper cave and follow the bolts through the hole to exit on top of the upper wall. Mega Classic.
17.  Chi 5.13d 35m * * * Steep is the game, long is the name. Bring all you got, cause it doesn’t stop for 150 feet. Climbs the center of the upper 45 degree wall.FA Jimmy Carse 1997
18.  Andrada 5.13d 35m FA Dani Andrada March 2012
18.  Dial M for Monkey 5.13c 40m Info unknown, but looks steep and amazing.
19.  Super Chongo 5.11b 30m Left most route to climb the outer right arête of the caves. Ok!
20.  Super Super Chongo 5.13a 35m Go past the anchors on Super Chongo for more climbing on steeper rock and harder moves.

La Boca ( TBC )

La Sabrosa ( TBC )

Carses' Wall ( From right to left )
This wall is located on the hike in, on the right side of the riverbed. It can be identified by its two arch like roofs one on top of another and a long yellow streak on the right side of the wall. New routes, so please be careful.

1. Petite Mervielle 5.11c/d 25m 10 Bolts + Full Anchors FA Ulric Rousseau FFA Ulric, Rodrigo y Eva Nov 2012
2. Electrika Kika 1 5.12
3. Jimmy's Route 2 5.12
4. El Camelion Azul 5.12b 30m First four bolts of 3 and then tread right for 25 meters of steep tufas and knee bars to the delicate finish below the anchors. Full Anchors. FA/FFA Ulric Rousseau Nov 2012
(Please avoid touching the blocs in the gully on the left at the start of 3 and 4, A familly of Large exotic tropically colored Lizards live in that habitat. Hence the Start to 4 from 3.)
5. Almost Believe That They're Real 5.11+ ( Still Undone ) 30m Start on the right side of the center wall, in a left facing Dahierieal. Climb past jugs through the roof and punch it to the chains past the second roof. Full Anchors. FA Ulric Rousseau Nov 2012
6. Pictures of You 5.12- ( Still undone ) 45m Climb Almost Believe That They're Real and continue past the first anchors through the roof and thin headwall up top to Full Anchors. Belayer beware. FA Ulric Rousseau Nov 2012
7. The Breathe of Silence 5.12- ( Still undone ) 40m Left most route. Three roofs and a run out headwall at the top. Belayer beware. Full Anchors. FA Ulric Rousseau Nov 2012

El Jardin aka The Garden
The Garden is located right off the 4x4 road leading to Las Animas. A stones throw away from the trail. The wall is located about 200 up the trail on your right after you leave the river bed. When you start heading up the 4x4 road from the river bed, the  white and grey tufa featured wall will appear behind the canapy curtain of trees and vegetation.

From left roo right.

1.
2.Total Balance 11A FA Ulric March 2012
3. New Balance 5.9 FA Ulric March 2012

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

The December Coagulation

Sorry for the delay in posting. I've been up and down, sideways and skimming the surface for something to say that actually has substance. Alas, Dan emailed me this morning and its sparked a little flame.

I've been in Mexico for 30 days. Climbing, and bolting. I think it's awesome to lead this life. Even though it has its pitfalls, it is better than pushing ink in-front of a Mac screen all day! Hail Cesar.

Should you send me an email today, this is what you will get as a response.


Thanks for your email,

I am bolting and climbing on Vacation, so please leave a message after the click, and I will double click on it within the next 24H. If you have any emergencies, please stabilize and call 911!

:)

Ulric

So now, as the vacation weeks approach, its getting easier and easier to lax out, lean and fall ass backwards into the sunset of life. I truly hope you are all planning something cool for your time off this Christmas. I know I am. You should. Oh, and btw. Please give at least ten bucks to a charity and don't buy anything you don't need, or at least, don't put it on your Mastercard. Stay clean and lean people. The man is not after you, but he sure as hells tries to convince you he is.

So with that. In all fairness, shut your screen, lace up your shoes, and do something other than Facebook will you! Wait, no, you need to read further.


My boys at So iLL spent a lot of time putting there company on the map over the past few years, and this is the culmination of there hard work. Dan, Dave, Chicas y hombres, braces yourselves. 2013 is So iLL time!

Have a good one peeps. See you all in 2013.

PS. I gotta give props to La Sportiva for the Futura's. They rule guys.
Maxim, thanks again for the ropes. You can now exemplify that you can bolt with a 9.1 on aid, rap, jug, pull, tug, scrap and severely TRY to destroy the rope, but the airliner just won't quit. I will have pics and Vids up shorty for proof.

Mom, send more money!

pz

So iLL: Guard Booth from So iLL on Vimeo.

Climb So iLL: Routesetting from So iLL on Vimeo.

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Up. Date!

There are few things in life that scratch the surface of the soul. More so, there are fewer things that can make me cringe, snap or better yet, explode in a nuclear meltdown.

The last 24h have brought me closer to that effect than ever before. Here is an account, uncensored and un edited, of my attempt at a romantic gesture.

After a few drizzly days in El Salto and 3 new routes up up and away, I decided to pay a surprise visit to a lady in calling in San Antonio.

I woke up a little past 5 am with the roosters in Cienega. Spared no time, started the truck, stretched a little and began the 50 min downhill fog ridden, rain spewing twists and turns of the "Calle de la Muerte" or, road of death. I drove through from South of Monterrey towards the 85 north heading to the border of Mexico and Texas.

I checked my fuel, and it was a little low, but I gathered I would tank up mid way on the highway. Checking my pockets, I was out of Pesos. So I turn off and take the free highway instead of the pay toll route. After a couple miles, I stop to pump some gas.

Miscommunication leads to my card not being able to be swiped at the pump for payment for said gasoline. I drive to the bank, leaving behind my Passport as collateral.

Denied. No cash advance available on the CC. Its 8 am, raining, and I am on the clock. Now, without $.

I call my friend Paya, in Monterrey, who drives out to bring me 1000 Pesos in debt. When he arrives, I pay the lady, retrieve my passport and thank Paya. Its 9 am and I have driven less then 20 miles outside of Monterrey, 400 Miles to go.

I hope in the truck, put key to static metal and turn the widget. Nothing!!!!!!!!!! Again, Nothing. All but a click noise, but no engine.

After about an hour of diagnostics, I find that the solenoid on the starter is fried! Or, better should I say, Humidified and not responding.

3 hours, 1 mechanic, one shitty town, three sketchy whores, about 20 Narcos and 850 pesos ( 70$ ) later, a new solenoid is installed, and the truck returns to full throttle. This time, I take the toll way. Its 11 am.

The 2 h drive is uneventful, less the few check points and red eyed police high on speed.

I arrive at the Columbia bridge border a little after noon to find a 5 hour wait. No kidding. As I snail along the pavement, the sign to the new bridge comes into view. ( Picture below )

"The quickest way across the Rio, everyday"

I look and ponder, if this is the quickest way, I wonder how many days of wait it is at the Laredo border?

I laugh. I crack open the Jack Daniels bottle, and pop in some Californication Epps on the laptop.

Of course, at 6pm, when its my time to cross, the border official " Randomly" picks me for a full body and truck check. My genitals are violated, just a little bit, and the truck is home to a huge german shepherd named Dave. With nothing to detain me further, I am on my way.

I lock in the cruise control at 80mp/h, pump in some Netsky and arrive at the next and final check point for homeland security. Nothing harrowing, just a 30 min wait. Though, my reckless driving and stupor of a drunken haze does get me pulled over. Luckily, its a border patrol officer, and he has no jurisdiction on traffic violations, and I am off in a jiffy!

By now its closing in on 8pm, which means I have been traveling for more than 15 hours through 2 borders, 6 check points, and for all, 400 miles.

I arrive at my destination bug eyed, stewing in sticky 3 day old bolting close, covered in grease from the elbows down, face and neck.

I stop in behind the target and find a water nossle. Can anyone imagine what I did next?

I shampoo, and wash-cloth myself in the 60 degree temps, just shy of cold enough to give me a heart attack, though it would my father.

Side bar. I should mention, that I also decided to get my hair cut in mexico. I won't bore you for the details, but put it this way. I am midway between a marine staff sargeant and a cheap male hooker from San Francisco with a paddy/mullet growing crooked out back of my skull. Needless to say, its the worse hair I have had in years. Knowing, you know full well how important my hair is to me. So there.

I digress.

I cleaned up, changed into the best receptive clothes possible that is traveling with me exactly for such occasion, I drape on a payer of Mango Dove deodorant, and I am off ready to face thy fairy!

I wish I could tell you that the imagined romantic movie scene that I was dreaming up, did actually happen. I back away from the bar, she runs around the counter, arms like wings of an angel, jumping into my arms and we hug and kiss passionately while the crowd tears up and the credits roll under a fading fire orange sunset. Alas, it was pretty much as you would imagine. We exchanged pleasantries, some smiles and awkward little moments that were somewhat cute and affectionate and I retired to my domain, at about 11pm, to sleep off the day as she continued her night as a night dweller and child of the darkness!

Oups, Side bar. Jeb did make me a mean steak and fries. My niece Isabella was in rare form too, taking up every ounce of energy I had in waking. I love that family. They are so REAL! Its bizarre to watch them from afar and then compare it to my life. I am living in a daydream.

Jeb did say something to me last night that rattled me. We where speaking about the above mentioned actions to win the heart of a soul, and he commented how all I wanted was P. Or A. Or both. Using only the letters in-front of the little 5 year old. I turned to him and said quit simply that nothing would disgust me more.

"I'm 35 dude. I've gotten all the P and A I could ever want. More than most could handle in a lifetime. What I want, most of all, is to have someone to share the finale moments of my life with." He stood there. We both smiled and ate some more steak. Friends are a rare thing these days. I am glad I have Jeb. Your the rock dude. The man. Few of my male friends even come close to being at your level buddy. Kudos to you.

All in all, I think it was a good day. I slept well, and I was up 5 am. Now its time to shuffle all the 20 emails in the inbox while I sip my 5$ latte at Starbucks, which, by the way, is blasting its A/C at 6am. I stand outside, cause its warmer there. I will see you all soon babies! till then, climb hard, be strong and opinion yourself. Its never to stupid, or to obtuse, if it comes from you!






What follows is something I wrote late last night. I should mention I am trying to write a book, well, three actually, and sometimes, well, dribble comes out. Here is some. Enjoy.


There is not much I can say that has not already been printed. Like the oxymoron of rock, when the stars themselves fight in court over the same chords played over different violins and trumpets ablaze.

The hank Moody's of this world are slowly dying. Themselves drinking into stupors of drag queens and incandescent porn blasting across broadband from countries who are untouchable to the lawful hand that should protect the very innocent lives of those from whom we thrive to defile, in reality or in daydreams, while all the while glued to our techno puters and monetary watchdog graphs of stock markets illusions of greed.

So, you see the big picture yet? if so, stop reading, its to layman terms for you. For the rest of your sheep out there, wanting another controversial conversation starter for your wine tasting fund raiser tonight, this, might actually get you laid this time.

This is my prose to all if us walking dead. The veritable truth in barrel. What you read is what you will get. Follow thy shy peasant into his obscure world. Follow him to the depths of raving chants and abusive rhetoric charm to the land of the promiscuous and free. No, wait , that doesn’t sound right. Follow me to the land of the part truth, part failure. Part one and part two. Follow the to another simple fiction of lies and deceits, of bare naked  verbal sodomy and into the great wide dark closed doors of the young and the fresh.









Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Bouyah!

In the immortal words of Jim Morrison,

"The time to hesitate is through."

I didn't feel like listing all the gear, so i just a picture after sorting it out.

Thanks to Maxim Ropes, So iLL, Fixe, Hilti, La Sportiva, Petzl, Jeb Vetters Inc. and my trusty truck for making trip without incident.

Ps. Total hangers and bolts combined is 2500!

Who da man?

Sunday, November 4, 2012


My little nephew Emiritus in Croatia. Isn't he cute. Can't wait to go back and be with everyone again.